At some point in the project I’m going to have to make a web server do something, and I’ve discovered I’ll need to learn PHP. According to a jocular Wikipedia editor, PHP stands for “Programmers Hate PHP”. I expect this is some kind of programmers' in-joke.
I’ve signed up to the charming Codecademy site. It seems to be run by an aggressively motivational fitness instructor. Every time you do something right it says “Way to go!” and every ten minutes sends you an email to say “Great job!”
PHP is the sort of thing people put on their CVs, and Codecademy promises I can learn it in four hours. That doesn’t sound like very long, but in four hours I could water my tomatoes 48 times.